I remember when Episode I first came out. The hype was everywhere–Star Wars merchandizing was on every possible product one could think of. This was before they figured out that the new trilogy should be targeted primarily at children. Then everyone realized it was a terrible movie, and it ended up being the worst out of all six. Now it’s back in theaters and in 3-D this time. Fanboys, if you want George Lucas to stop crapping on your childhood, stop giving him your money. If you were busy flipping off America during the Super Bowl this week, odds are you missed it.
A woman’s place is in the mess hall
Women. Right? They can be crazy, as every guy knows. Fear not, dudes, Rick Santorum is totally with you on this one. Fresh off of winning three more state primaries, Santorum said on Thursday that he doesn’t think women should serve in combat roles because of “other types of emotions that are involved.” Yeah, man. Like, if you give a woman a gun, you just know she’s going to start PMSing and end up shooting people unprovoked, and other women will start syncing up with her. Before long, you’ll have a crazy-bitch army. Actually, that sounds like a pretty effective deterrent.
Extremely cold and incredibly snowy
Most of Europe is buried in snow and dealing with colder-than-normal temperatures. In fact the canals in Venice have frozen over. The harsh winter has been causing problems all over the continent, especially with traffic. We’ve heard it’s so bad in some countries that people are driving their Vespas on the wrong side of the road.
Vampire Nicolas Cage: I’m not a vampire
Remember last fall when that mid-1800s photograph of a dude that looked like Nicolas Cage started circulating around the Internet? Well, Cage is here to tell you that he is not a vampire, existing ageless for hundreds of years. That seems sort of obvious, the guy in the old picture has way more hair.