You Missed It: Late night movie edition

It’s a sign that old people still run the media and decide what’s important: the Natalie Wood case being re-opened. This story is everywhere, and honestly, I have no idea who she is, aside from a dead actress. She died in 1981, which means that anyone under 30 wasn’t alive when it happened, and few in the first half of their 30s even remember it, yet for some reason it’s headline news. If you were busy announcing your divorce and un-following your spouse this week, odds are you missed it.

Does that make Bella a necrophiliac?
It’s not really even the weekend yet, and white women everywhere are beating down the doors to see the latest installment of the Twilight movies. This one is apparently drawing even more lonely women and girls than usual, because there’s a PG-13 sex scene. In response to this The Muppets, opening next week, will feature Jason Segel’s now-famous penis.

That doesn’t look like my coworker’s dog
Some Facebook users were subject to viewing pornographic and violent images in their feeds, when their friends’ accounts were hijacked. The images were promptly removed, and people’s feeds went back to their normal, yet still offensive feed posts of friends’ baby pictures, nagging wall posts from parents and general comments from those people you just can’t stand.

Terrorist bathrooms
There was a close call on a Delta flight to New York this week, when 30 minutes before landing the pilot went to the lavatory and didn’t come back. Then, a passenger with a thick accent was knocking on the cockpit door, asking for access, saying that the captain was locked in the lavatory and couldn’t get out. Naturally, the co-pilot freaked out. As it turned out, the lavatory door really was malfunctioning, but the pilot was able to break it open. The passenger, he really was just a helpful dude.