As any school child can tell you, Christopher Columbus discovered the New World in 1492, thus beginning a tradition of killing off natives by sword and small pox. The tradition lasted for centuries. To celebrate this discovery, federal workers and a handful of children get next Monday off. Of course, there are those who say that the Vikings were here first. Others claim the Chinese discovered America. There are still others who say the Irish (!) made the discovery. This is probably why Columbus Day is not the huge holiday it was decades ago. If you were busy having your cigar-toting likeness photoshopped into famous pictures this week, odds are you missed it.
There’s only one Flubtober
It’s October now, and playoff baseball is here. That means only one thing: more people complaining about the calls made by an umpire, because these games actually mean something and we now have the technology to review calls, which would make the game even slower. We’re only a game or two into the Major League Baseball division series, and former pitcher David Wells, who for six seasons straight led the league in Double Quarter Pounders with Cheese, is tired of it. He said the umpires are calling incorrectly everything from catches to strikes, and it’s hurting the game. He then went back to mopping the floors of Pilot truck stop on Interstate 85.
Wait until you’re done to read this
If you’re an American and you’re having sex, odds are you’re not alone. According to a new medical study, Americans are getting their freak on way more than they were 20 years ago. They are also kinkier than they were back then, by getting in on in more than one method (use your imagination, this is a SFW site), and in some cases, more frequently than before. I don’t want to take full responsibility here, but 20 years ago I wasn’t on the scene, and now I am. Coincidence? You’re not buying it, are you?
It’s all about the kids
Facebook creator Mark Zuckerberg is having a rough time lately. First, a movie portraying him in a not-so-great light is the biggest hit of the weekend. Then, he announces some major changes to his site, and people use them against him. This is why Zuckerberg is now a member of the North American Man/Boy Love Association, or NAMBLA. Someone signed him up for the group using Facebook’s new feature that lets one’s friends sign them up for a group without their approval. We here at SG wish Zuckerberg the best of luck in finding his one true man/boy love.