You Missed It: Popeless edition

Good news, folks, it’s no longer February. When you think about it, is there really anything good about February? Sure, you get $5 foot-long subs from Subway, and it’s Black History Month, but is that really enough to overcome the soul-crushing cold, coupled with the exceedingly grey skies? No one gets excited about February, but March is something to celebrate. You get an excuse to drink for pretty much the whole month if you’re Irish (like you need a reason), and it’s more or less the beginning of spring. If you were busy winning best picture this week, odds are you missed it.

It’s just Mr. Razinger now
The papacy of Pope Benedict XVI officially ended yesterday, as his resignation took effect. As His former Holiness boarded a helicopter to his vacation home, he stopped at the top of the steps, looked back at the crowd, and gave a Nixon salute. The very same day, the U.S. House passed the extension of the Violence Against Women Act. It was a pretty big day for women’s rights. I burned a bra for the hell of it.

Anyone remember SeaQuest?
We now stand hours away from the federal budget sequester, a series of arbitrary cuts that are likely to get everyone more pissed off about the economy, all because Congress can’t pass a deal. At a press conference today, President Barack Obama said that he is not a dictator, which likely comes as a surprise to That Guy You Avoid in the Office. He said he could not “Jedi mind meld” the Republicans into agreeing to a deal to avoid the sequester. So there you have it, he’s not a nerd, either. There goes the J.J. Abrams vote.

You’ve got singles
Did you know that there are still people out there that use AOL? It’s true. Despite the scarcity of people now using an aol.com email address, there are enough of them out there that researchers were able to draw some data and analyze it. British event planning group Chillsauce said those with AOL email addresses were more likely to plan a trip to a strip club. This doesn’t sound like a negative stereotype. It seems like only a matter of time before AOL starts using this in its comeback plot.