Apparently today is Drink A Beer Day, or as we call it around here, “Friday.” This is the first I’ve ever heard of this holiday, but I like it. It’s simple and to the point. Its name even tells you how to celebrate. I’m going to guess that all you do is buy a beer and a card and mail them both to your Drink A Beerentine with a note that says you love them as much as beer, then you drink the beer. Correct? If you were busy fasting for Mitt Romney this week, odds are you missed it.
Back in stripes
The NFL and the referees’ union came to an agreement this week in time for Thursday’s game. The need for real refs was highlighted during the Monday night game, where a bad call led to the Seattle Seahawks walking away with a victory over the Green Bay Packers and a growing outrage among coaches, players and fans. The news is best for the Lingerie Football League, which will finally get back its officiating crews.
Confirmed bachelor
Recently a gospel of Jesus written in the second century came to light. It was only a fragment, and mentions that Jesus had a wife who could be his disciple. This week, an editorial in a Vatican newspaper said that the texts are probably fake. The forgery argument centered around the line, “He gathered His disciples and said, ‘What do you guys think about that Honey Boo Boo show?'”
There’s a new element in town
Japanese scientists created a new element this week, one that has 113 protons. It’s temporarily called “ununtrium,” meaning “one-one-three.” It is only a matter of time before they figure out a way to incorporate it into their robot-armor-schoolgirl-outfit-wearing cartoons.