Hey, Illinois, what’s shaking? Sorry, earthquake jokes are only a few shades better than flood/hurricane jokes. If you were in an area affected by a natural disaster this week, odds are you missed it.
Pennsylvania Primaries
Sen. Hillary Clinton gained a bit of momentum as she won the Pennsylvania Democratic primary election, defeating Sen. Barack Obama by more than ten percentage points. The Clinton camp and the news media were overjoyed by the news, while Obama and the rest of the U.S. groaned at the thought of having to go through with this crap for several more months.
Cindy McCain on ‘The View’
Wife of likely Republican presidential nominee Cindy McCain appeared on ABC’s “The View” Monday to dispel rumors that her husband, Sen. John McCain, has anger issues. She said voters should not be worried about an angry man in the White House with his finger on the trigger because he only uses the C-bomb on her when he has to.
‘Blade’ behind bars
Actor Wesley Snipes was convicted of not filing his taxes and sentenced to three years in prison. When reached for comment, Snipes said he regretted hiring Willie Nelson as his accountant.
Detectives acquitted
Three NYPD detectives were acquitted Friday of shooting a man outside of a strip club a few hours before his wedding. Over 50 bullets were fired by police. Finally, law enforcement officers have received a fair trial in the shooting death of an unarmed black man.