Welcome to 2011, faithful readers! Hope you all made it into the new year safely and in one piece. As you can see, I made it into what boring sticklers say is technically the beginning of the new decade. And I did so while turning my nose into a noisemaker for the past week. I went through a box of tissues in two days. If I were you, I’d maintain a safe distance from this screen, I’m just sayin’. If you were busy getting discovered for your voice while begging for change, odds are you missed it.
Next they’ll say it’s by Samuel Clemens
Suddenly everyone cares about books again, because Alan Gribben, an English professor at Auburn University is releasing an edition of Mark Twain’s The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn without Jim’s now-offensive moniker. Instead, he’ll be referred to as “slave Jim” in the book. Gribben said his edition will feature digitally-enhanced creatures to more accurately depict the world Mark Twain intended, but could not include because of the technology of the time.
Soon there will be a Mrs. Alleged Rapist
If there’s one thing Pittsburgh is known for, it’s class. And that’s why we can expect no less that an American royal wedding when the city’s Favorite Son Four years Ago gets married. Rumors have it that “Rather Large” Ben Roethlisberger, quarterback of the Pittsburgh Steelers, is engaged, but he and his pudge aren’t talking! If there’s one thing we know about Ben, it’s that the ladies can’t resist him–literally!
A time for action is here
This week, a new Congress took session, bringing in a new era of legislation, a new hope for America. Here are the freshest appointments the citizens of the United States have elected to represent themselves. It’s time to take action! It’s time to show some muscle! It’s time to roll up the sleeves and start working together toward a better future! That’s why the first thing the House did was … read the Constitution, a document that hasn’t been altered at all since the senor George Bush administration. Next up on Congress’ reading list: Ender’s Game.
I like the title- a “Robin Hood, Men in Tights” reference if I am not mistaken?