You Missed It: White dress, red eyes edition

I’m not sure what it is about this time of year, or the area in which I live, but my allergies have gone nutso in the past week. Tree sperm is everywhere here in Washington, D.C., as it is throughout the U.S., and for some reason it tells my nose to explode and my eyes to make it me look like I am high. That’s fine, I can handle it like everyone else,  but I can’t take antihistamines during the day, or I’ll be staggering around my office like a hungry zombie, which is generally a bad thing. If you were busy leaving the show that made you a household name this week, odds are you missed it.

Only 50 more years until they are king and queen!
You may not have heard, but Prince William and Kate Middleton got married this morning, causing thousands of American women to miss out on sleep this morning. By all accounts, it was a wonderful ceremony that went off without a slip-up, plus the Brits even got the day off. However, the ceremony proved to show differences between American and English cultures, including that it’s fine there for the maid of honor to wear white, and apparently the Brits like to dress for weddings like it’s the Kentucky Derby.

Not like he has a driver’s license, either
President Barack Obama released his long-form birth certificate this week in an effort to silence the birther movement, which is currently led by entrepreneur and avid fut-hat wearer Donald Trump. The move, of course, silenced no one, and did not put the issue to rest for many birthers. However, it did make huge efforts in fixing the economy and winning the war on terrorism.

Where’s the Man of Steel’s birth certificate?
In issue number 900 of Action Comics released this month, Superman announces that he plans to give up his U.S. citizenship. He says he doesn’t want people to see his actions as U.S. policy, and renouncing citizenship is the only way to fix it. This makes sense, because, you know, he really is an alien.

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