Your parents don’t love you

***SPOILER ALERT!***

This week’s issue of the Proceedings of the National Academy of Science, scientists will reveal a study with which they determine your jeans do influence your popularity.

There’s no word, yet, as to which brands improve social standing, but this blog wears only Old Navy brand blue jeans. (Get Up & Go … to your local Old Navy store for great deals on fashionable clothes for the whole family!) We’re pretty sure scientists will corroborate our own research that skinny jeans are merely a passing fad, while boot cut relaxed fits will get you laid every time.

So, if you’re positive your parents refuse to buy you designer jeans because they’re jealous of your hair and secretly hate you: you’re absolutely right … and probably adopted.