MasterChugs Theater: ‘300’

Do not adjust your televisions sets. It would just look silly because you’re on your computer. Besides, who says “television sets” anymore? What you are about to see is a point-counterpoint review by Rick Snee and Bryan McBournie, while Chugs is currently unavailable.

For this round, we chose that feel-good movie of the year, 300. Since it debuted, great and little minds alike have debated its merits. This … is one of those debates.

Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘300’

He who controls the skies controls the war

Though we are at war, the branches of the U.S. military are all over the place. Some, like the Army and Marine Corps., show no signs of engaging the enemy. While others, like the U.S. Navy, has a history of flip-flopping. However, it seems to this blog that the U.S. Air Force has been quietly fighting this war every single time it sends up a plane.

It seems the Air Force has some issues in birds hitting its planes as they travel hundreds of miles per hour. This could be the most awesome way to fight the War on Animals. Nothing like splattering your enemy’s guts all over your vehicle to really drive the point home. Keep ’em flying, boys!

Florida becomes America’s true ‘elephant graveyard’

According to unnamed researchers in this article, more than 20 percent of Floridians are obese, which is why the  Orange-Osceola Medical Examiner’s Office has installed a larger autopsy table.

The new table, which is capable of holding up to 1,000 pounds of partially-digested Big Macs, is only the first of several rennovations, including “larger morgue drawers and other equipment used to carry and store the dead.”

To this blog’s knowledge, Florida is the only state needing the upgrades since most people in the United States move there before dying.

Witchdoctors: possible ally in the Caribbean

While The Guys may not practice Santeria, the new year brought out some predictions from Rick. The Santeria priests of Cuba have put down their iguana testicles and sheep’s blood to announce their predictions of the year. For some strange reason, they didn’t say much about Fidel Castro, perhaps that’s because they fear death.

Good news, though, the Cuban economy will improve and oh yeah, the climate may not be improving all that much. However, many sacrifices are planned. This blog can only assume they are of animals. In which case, this blog is all for the priests making all the sacrifices they can to improve the fate of the Cuban people and aiding their fellow humans in the War on Animals.