MasterChugs Theater Love Tap: ‘The Ladies Man’
Posted on February 29, 2008
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For what it is, a 90-minute spin-off of a Saturday Night Live sketch, Reggie Hudlin’s film The Ladies Man is not bad. If you have some familiarity with some examples of this benighted genre, like Stuart Saves His Family, It’s Pat, A Night at the Roxbury or Superstar, you will take this evaluation as a giddy rave. The Ladies Man has some funny, dirty-minded jokes, a few amusing cameos (including Julianne Moore in clown makeup) and a soundtrack loaded with juicy cuts of mid-70s vintage soul and funk: a lot of Gamble and Huff, a soupcon of Isley Brothers and a plateful of Parliament’s ”Up for the Down Stroke.” Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" Taylor‘These guys were absolutely dumb as bricks’
Posted on February 29, 2008
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In most cases, if you’re holding a machete, you’re the one making the rules. However, this principle only works when the brain is used on conjunction with the machete. One of the brain’s most valuable functions is the ability to reason. Sadly, it is also the brain’s most fleeting of all functions.
Example: Robbing a bar may not be a particularly great idea. Sure, you’re armed, but you don’t know who else is. Odds are more than a couple of the establishment’s occupants have had enough alcohol to throw reason out the window and come after you. (“He’s trying to steal the money we just used to pay for our drinks! GET HIM!!!”)
So maybe then robbing a meeting hall of some sort. They have cash registers, right? Two Australian men had just such logic. They paid no heed as they walked past rows of motorcycles in the parking lot. They began to rob one room, demanding the patrons get on the ground. In the next room a local biker “club” was having its monthly meeting.
You can guess how it went from there.
Written by Bryan McBournieHe does what he does for his country
Posted on February 29, 2008
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A Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer has been fired for using his official position to seek out women and have relations with them while on the job. Guess he was a true “Mountie.”
Yes, I went there.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorA letter from Acme Corp.
Posted on February 29, 2008
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We were about to run a story on the discovery of a shipwreck from 1924. That ship is the S.S. Acme.
However, the lawyers of the Acme Corporation sent this letter:
The next wave of illegal immigrants
Posted on February 29, 2008
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Global warming may be a threat after all. Not because some scientists are worried that we will be plunged into a new ice age because of it–that’s just crazy talk. But because warmer climates could result in us getting some rather unpleasant neighbors.
Scientists say that if the planet heats up at its current rate, by 2100, parts of North America could have a climate similar to Pakistan or Indonesia. While this blog has no idea what that means, there is a scarier aspect to this: Pythons could invade our territory.
“Climate modeling for the year 2100 which shows the possible climate range for pythons moving northward and swallowing up northernmost parts of Texas and Arkansas, the southeast half of Kansas, the southern half of Missouri and parts of southern Illinois and Indiana. Further east the big snakes could comfortably creep through Tennessee, Kentucky, Maryland, Delaware and southern New Jersey.”
The west coast isn’t safe either. Folks, we have to either fight global warming or fight pythons. Since it’s unclear whether or not a shotgun can kill global warming, this blog recommends we go after pythons.
Written by Bryan McBournieHow To: Throw a par-tay
Posted on February 28, 2008
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We all want to be popular, and the quickest way to popularity is to throw a party. Correction: not just a party, but the most righteous shindig the world/your town has ever seen! Some people would say you need to walk before you run, but when did walking ever get your face on a Wheaties box? That is why The Guys are here to teach you how to throw a par-tay.
Man shocked that Iowa is not at all like Vegas
Posted on February 28, 2008
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Hey there, all you cool N-SixteeFo console players, SG game editor Chuggy McLugg is here with a pro-tip all you wiz-bang gambling gamers that happen to pull shifts at casinos: just because your establishment promotes “Las Vegas-style entertainment” doesn’t mean they have to send a prostitute to your room when you win a free night’s stay, even if you do have a gift certificate. Especially when your room is in Iowa, though they’ll probably send you a potato-tute instead. That kind of high roller treatment just doesn’t apply to everyone, you know.
Tony Blair: Educator of the obese
Posted on February 28, 2008
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As if it weren’t hard enough to understand English accents, problems continue with the dialog of 2006’s The Queen. As we reported over a year ago, an airline version of the movie had some excessing bleeping when the word “god” was censored, regardless of the context.
But this time, there was no singing of “Bleep Save the Queen,” instead subtitles to an outdoor screening of the movie in Australia were written by someone who appeared to have the English comprehension of an Asian electronics manual. The drama ended up being more of a comedy after the subtitles stole the show.
“When a character spoke about Mr Blair being ‘educated at Fettes’, it appeared on screen as ‘educated the fattest’. ‘Did you vote?’ flashed up as ‘Dead in a boat?’. The observation that ‘every newspaper proprietor has blood on his hands today’ became ‘every newspaper proprietor has blown in his hands today’.
Yuck.
No word yet on whether the DVD box set will include these two alternate versions SG has discussed. Stay tuned to MasterChugs Theater for updates.
Written by Bryan McBournieGay porn ninjas are twins and fabulous
Posted on February 28, 2008
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OK, I know what you’re thinking: “Chug, you’re out of your gourd. What are you doing, writing a news blurb headline like that, huh” Yeah, think that now, but just hold on until you’ve heard the story. Read more
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorThe great fish robbery
Posted on February 28, 2008
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You may have heard about the latest commodity to start getting stolen: copper. Yes, the copper market has skyrocketed as the metal has gotten more and more precious due to the rapid growth in China.
Hey hey hey! Come back! This isn’t about the copper market!
But it seems there is a new market with a product being worth more and more. When this happens, the product comes under danger for being stolen. That product is lobster. Over 200 lbs of live lobster were stolen in Florida, probably to be sold to another seafood restaurant.
However, this blog hopes they were not stolen by a so-called animal activist group. Those lobsters are dangerous and need to be exterminated, if they are eaten in the process, that just makes it even better.
Written by Bryan McBournie keep looking »