Unless you have been living under a rather large stone as of late (if you have, how are you reading this, much less keeping the stone’s crushing weight off of you?) you know all too well the toll filling up your gas tank can have on your wallet. While following our advice on how to manage your money is undoubtedly saving you thousands per year, it still hurts to gas up. That’s why The Guys are here to tell you how to survive rising gas prices. Continue reading How To: Survive rising gas prices
Day: June 19, 2008
Tattoo discrimination? In the U.S.?!
Who would think that having large exposed tattoos could still cost gainful employment in the United States? Apparently not people with said large exposed tattoos.
“I think in some ways, it’s a ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ understanding,” said 37-year-old Dave Kimelberg when asked how rough he has it as a high-paid, secretly-tattooed attorney.
According to professional tattooed lady, Sara Champion, she had to find a new job because she didn’t want to cover up her needle-scribblings at work. She left, causing her former coworkers to miss out on “six large tattoos on her arms and back,” including:
- “a brightly colored sunflower.”
- “a marigold.”
- “a rendition of a Dia de los Muertos bride and groom on her upper left arm.” (Wha–?)
Fortunately, she found another job where she’s allowed to be as big of an attention whore as she wants to be.* After all, tattoos are a lifestyle, not a choice.
*Unfortunately, it’s in Danbury, Connecticut.
Update (11/26/2008):
Thanks to all of your thoughtful comments, I have changed my mind about tattoos. You really made me think long and hard about myself and people’s preconceptions, so I’ve written more about our (yes, our) plight.(It’s a long post about Thanksgiving, so feel free to skip all the way to the end.)
Final Update (4/4/2009):
Obviously people are going to continue stumbling across this article through Google search or however else they look to get outraged online. For all intents and purposes, I’m considering the Tattoo Discrimination Challenge a disappointment, but will keep it open for the day someone pours their energy into thoughtful work instead of petty complaints.
Mayor of the Dead
Citizen, you should be proud that you’re (probably) a member of the United States of America. We’re a strong country. We have values that we’ll gladly impose upon you. We know what we want and we take it! But most important of all, we’re zombie-free. Unlike Europe, which seems to be riddled with the brain-munchers, our country knows the value in putting the dead back into their graves.
Another plus for our country and not Europe? We don’t have zombies elected as political officials. While this was obviously most evident during the 2004 election, stronger evidence of this can be seen as closely as Bucharest, where recently, a dead mayor was reelected by his Romanian village. Their reason? “We’re afraid of change.” Major weaksauce, Romania. Smartly, election authorities awarded the title of mayor to his candidate before a dark ritual or Solarium could be used to expedite the corpse’s stroll back to office.
People, that’s not a bipartisan system-it’s a brain partaking system. It’s smart not to let a zombie in office. All we would have is tons and tons of legislature stating, “Send more paramedics.”
We’re not laughing, ‘Onion’
Look, before we get into it, let’s just say we like The Onion. We think it’s adorable that they make up news to joke about. Very creative, boys.
That said: did you think we wouldn’t notice? It was a nice try, putting it in your print edition. You know The Guys are way too awesome to sit in coffee shops and read ratty little newsletters.
(Not that we’re implying your print edition is ratty. We’re sure it’s much more distinguished than that local fanzine about marijuana-oriented jam bands from Kinko’s.)
And we quote from our site two weeks ago:
“So I caught a few previews for Austin Powers 4: The Love Guru and noticed Jessica Alba is in it.”
That’s the very first sentence in “Take it from Snee: Jessica Alba kinda sucks.”
Some things are best done by a woman
If movies have taught us anything, it is that kidnapping, while a federal offense in the U.S., is sometimes totally justified. In Italy, the same holds true. To the list of “for their own good,” “to explain a vast conspiracy to them” and “for ransom,” you can now add “to get chores done.”
A man in Genoa, Italy was arrested after police suspected him of kidnapping his ex-girlfriend and making her do chores around his house. The chores included ironing his clothes and washing his dishes.
This blog only wonders why it did not work out for those two crazy lovebirds.