How To: Develop a conspiracy theory
Posted on July 10, 2008
Filed Under How To | 1 Comment |
Did you know that there was/maybe still is a fully-functional Michael Jordan robot? Of course you didn’t, because The Man® doesn’t want you to know The TruthTM!
(Don’t believe them when They say you can’t handle it.)
We can all enjoy a good conspiracy theory like the one I just mentioned, but how do you create and hone your own? And what do you do about all those naysayers and CIA agents that try to discredit you?
To answer these questions and more, keep reading to find out how to develop a conspiracy theory. Read more
Written by Rick SneeAd campaign of the week
Posted on July 10, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | 2 Comments |
When it comes to tourism, a catchy slogan is really important. I (heart) NY. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Don’t mess with Texas. Actually, that last one was a slogan the state government came up with to keep people from littering. It was later hijacked by a current president of ours.
The point is, normally, great slogans are reserved for the big guys, the metropolitan areas that can shell out the big bucks to make sure people have not forgotten that they are still there. (New York City has trust issues, which is why it needs Americans to constantly remind it of their affection.) However, the town of Cumming, Iowa has found a slogan that just about everyone can get behind.
You guessed it: “I Love Cumming.” T-shirts are on sale now.
(Courtesy of Katie T.)
Written by Bryan McBournieHistory repeats itself (yet again [again])
Posted on July 10, 2008
Filed Under Scurry '08 | Leave a Comment |
Hey Kentucky SG-ites, it’s time to meet your Senate candidates!
Up first: former tough guy actor Sonny Landham, who is running for Senate in Kentucky, had a burgeoning career in hardcore porn movies, but had that cut short with bit parts in several 1980s movies like Poltergeist, 48 Hours and Predator. He’s not ashamed to admit it either, because that would still make him only the third weirdest member of the Predator cast to be elected governor of a U.S. state.
The Guys are pretty sure he’s talking about his early “blue film” filmography, but, hey, I wouldn’t exactly be proud of being in 48 Hours either.
Written by Chris "Chugs" TaylorNext they’ll learn to juggle
Posted on July 10, 2008
Filed Under War on Animals | Leave a Comment |
The War on Animals does not give us the advantage of numbers, however, it does give us the advantage of smarts. It is important that we keep that advantage, lest we concede the high ground (but not the moral high ground) to the enemy.
That’s why we need to burn down European sea research “centres.” They are giving Rubik’s cubes to octopi allegedly to see if they have a preferred arm, you know, right, right right, right right right, right right right right, left, left left, left left left or left left left left. If these things start figuring out Rubik’s cubes, that makes them smarter than most people, which is a hazard we cannot afford.
Written by Bryan McBournieHey, we write the ‘How Tos!’
Posted on July 10, 2008
Filed Under Regular Post | Leave a Comment |
Once again, another “recognized” media outlet is cramping our style. This time, it’s long-time reader/often linking to us CNN.
Look at their site today, and what do you find? “How to keep your kids pain-free.”
This work of outright theft is a numbered list of steps in bold font, followed by a paragraph or three of regular-font details.
Here’s an example from their “own” Web site:
5. Don’t be afraid of opiates
Opiates can help a child in severe pain, and the risks are small, pediatric pain experts say.
The sad part is, not only did they steal one of our features — which also runs on Thursdays — but they did it wrong.
You don’t make your kids pain-free with pinwheels and drugs; you burn all their nerves off at an early age before memories last. Think of it as a follow-up procedure to a circumcision or ear-piercing.
Written by Rick Snee