Day: September 13, 2010

The McBournie Minute: The relationship resumé

Some comedian once said that first dates were a lot like job interviews. I’d say he was right, and it is a comparison that probably is not made enough. I recently found this out, when over the summer I decided to flee my old job as best I could.

I had several interviews, and though I’m not new to the job interview world, I could definitely tell that I got better after a couple of them. Heck, I even got so good that someone decided to hire me at a job where I was really happy. What’s different, however, is that in a job interview, you have all your skills laid out there on the table in the form of a resume, a cover letter, and maybe even some work samples.

I don’t think that can really fly in the dating world. Continue reading The McBournie Minute: The relationship resumé

Criminal employment way down

As if the employment numbers (we stopped counting the unemployed to save time) weren’t sad enough , it appears that even crime doesn’t pay what it once did before.

The FBI reported that the “number of violent crimes committed in the United States in 2009 declined for the third straight year.” Even property crimes like motor vehicle theft, larceny, burglary and arson dropped, indicating that other people just don’t have nice enough stuff to loot or torch anymore.

The only crimes not included in this very bleak report were hate crimes, which may–fingers crossed–have become the new growth industry in the dastardly jobs field. However, early reports indicate that many of these jobs may have been shipped overseas or are performed domestically by illegal immigrants, as most U.S. hatemongers have difficulty leaving online chat forums.

Just photoshop the revolution away

We don’t really know the average age of our readers (not until we do our SeriouslyInquisitive Survey/Pop Up Ad, am I right?), but it’s safe to assume that the internet is getting younger. Or at least, the users on the internet are getting younger. That’s to be expected, what with more people using it every day. Unfortunately, that means a lot of the users may not know about Russia.

You see young bucks, Russia used to be a fearsome foe back in the day (also known as the far flung past of the 1980s), stopping arguments among their people with an iron fist left and right. But as of the past 20 years, things haven’t quite been like that. In order to mesh with the rest of the world, Russia is now a shadow of that creature.

Or is it?

An environmental group was planning to protest Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin, but that plan was ended when they lost their research data. Authorities used the pretext of searching for pirated Microsoft software in order to take the computers. This operation has been going on more and more recently, and Microsoft has no qualms with it; in fact, they’re even assisting in it. The evil empire may be back, and it’s all thanks to another former evil empire.

It’s fun to stay at the …

Typically, the homeless are unemployed and down on their luck, but what about the new generation of homeless, the recently-separated husband?

In Switzerland, they have figured out a solution, and are now offering a shelter for husbands who are about to become ex-husbands. When the wife kicks you out, you don’t go to the dog house, you don’t even need to get a hotel room, like most people do. Instead, you can hang out with a bunch of other dudes whose betrothed have had enough of them.

We’ve assuming that this shelter will also have a fair amount of liquor, and a cap on how many times a day you can say, “Ug, women.”