… Because we should have said “of the Century” or “of All Time.”
Kasey Edwards’ story is not over, meat-eaters.* After losing his arm to and gouging the eye out of an alligator, you’d think he’d hang up his frog suit and harpoon gun for good.
And you’d be thinking wrong, because he’s now leading others into action:
“‘It’s a problem that needs to be dealt with,’ victim Kasey Edwards said. ‘The alligators — the population needs to be brought down.'”
[Emphasis ours, but we assume was his, too. He probably slammed his good fist into the table for each bold-faced word.]
Admiral Edwards, we are prepared to hand our brown water navy over to you. (Hope you like fanboats!) And after you rid Florida of the scaly horde, we’ve got an international mission for you.
*Hey, vegetarians. You can hate animals, too. It’s called sport hunting or target practice. Look into it.