Tag: pedophilia

Rise, my cake

Chancellor Palpatine Emperor Palpatine Pope Benedict XVI recently turned a whopping 83 years old. At his birthday party, he was given a large cake and had “Happy Birthday” sung to him in English. Because, you know, the Catholic Church has never had issues with small children and Benedict has never had any possible ties to the German Nazi party or movement. Never.

We can only assume that each candle (all 83 of them) had a tip that resembled a Pope hat. Because that makes us smile.

In other food related news, a hub-bub has been stirred up regarding the irony of KFC’s recent healthy focus campaign for the Susan G. Komen foundation and their release of the Double Down. And yet, there’s another hub-bub that they might want to focus on also. Oh, and SHAMELESS PLUG IS SHAMELESS

Take it from Snee: Shut up and take it

My entreaties for peace fell on deaf ears (deaf eyes?) last week. I offered you people spaghetti and puppies, but look at us now: talking about potentially fighting in the streets if conditions are just right. We’re on the verge of a revolutionary civil world war, and it’s all because some people refuse to stop talking about threats.

Oh, did you think I was gonna take your side in this, Democrats and people who don’t like to be touched? No freakin’ way.

There are institutions to protect, practices to defend, and you have called down the thunder by daring to speak your opinion and effect change. And then, when we respond like a rational mob, you dare to accuse us of getting violent or angry?

Well. Conservative activists, Catholic apologists, school bullies and now I, Rick Snee, have had enough of your backtalk. Continue reading Take it from Snee: Shut up and take it

Down under round up

Remember the Sex Party of Australia? Yeah, we know, it’s been a very long time, but they’re back, and they’re back with a vengeance. They’ve now begun reporting that the Australian Classification Board has begun rounding up any material depicting women with less than substantially sized breasts in adult publications and film-for an immediate banning. Now, we’re not going to just automatically Godwin the ACB, but, well … we do enjoy snickering when the word “titzi” is spoken.

The reason for this discrimination of the A and A- crowd? The ACB feels that this is a way to prevent pedophilia, in a nutshell. To boil it down, they want to make sure people aren’t turned on and getting all sex-crazed over small breasts, and thus are making sure that all the young-looking women must have really large breasts.

Anyone but me see the basic flaw here?

But wait-there’s more! A burglar broke into the house of the Sciascia family and ran off with an iPod and Xbox. One problem: the legs of Papa Sciascia weren’t exactly up to snuff. The solution? 11 year old Rena grabbed dad’s crutch and gave chase. For 500 meters. The police later tracked down the alleged burglar. Rena’s iPod was lost, but her Xbox was found in a bush near the family’s home. The burglar was never named, for obvious reasons of not wanting to die of embarrassment.

Spoilers: Snape touches students

If the internet was made for sex, then what are young adult books made for?

Well, if you’re in Britain, then they’re clearly made for pedophilic tendencies. Isn’t that right, J.K. Rowling?

Oh yes, that’s right, the woman behind the financial marvel known as ‘ARRY POHTTAUH may have to register as a potential pedophile simply thanks to the literature that she’s written. Now, mind you, the Harry Potter series is clearly not of the Lolita style of writing, but simply because she has the possibility of visiting students at schools, Rowling must go onto a list of people who may have a greater likelihood of becoming white unmarked van drivers. Oh, and also, she’s required to pay a fee to go onto this list. Genius.

And no, this is not an article from The Onion. We could only hope that it was.

It’s a land of paradise for Uncle Reggies across the world

You know how you may or may not have lost your job because it was outsourced to, most probably, India? Well, guess what industry of theirs is so thriving that it probably won’t get outsourced (copied is another thing though)?

Child prostitution!

Man, the old end theme for the Flintstone Vitamins commercial really gets creepy when you think about it now.

Virginia is for pedophilic gamers

Who knew that chatting up 13-year olds via Xbox Live then asking them for naked photos would be so frowned upon? What’s that you say? Anyone with a shred of common sense? What’s also that you say? We did very early on in our SG career? That’s right, we did.

One man who learned that lesson the hard way was 24 year old Portsmouth, Virginia resident Ryan Edwin Donker. Donker, whose very last name might even be considered inappropriate for those underage, admitted to police that he had asked for naked photos of an Xbox Live user from Fayetteville, Arkansas. He was arrested, extradited to Arkansas, charged with a felony and held on $20,000 bond.

The Fayetteville Police Department recorded multiple Xbox Live conversations between Donker and the boy following the first incident.

According to reports from the Northwest Arkansas Times, Donker told police that requests for naked pictures from the boy were a “joke.” Right. Whatever you say, Donker.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again: Virginia, sometimes you make me want to live in another state.