Rabbits have a taste for fuel lines

In Colorado, it may be winter, but the animals keep up their assaults.

Travelers parking at Denver International Airport may want to think about taking a cab instead. The place is reportedly infested with rabbits, even though it’s cold outside, and these varmints are chewing the brake lines and other wiring in cars. It goes without saying that at the very least, this does thousands of dollars worth of damage. At worst, it can end up killing someone.

Sounds like it’s time to lengthen rabbit season — and duck season, while we’re at it.

Stockholm syndrome

We don’t like Sweden. Aside from supermodels, they really haven’t contributed to the world. All they do is land somwhere, pillage the country of its culture, then return to their longships and head back home.

But they’re growing on us now. Not only is Stockholm culling thousands of wild rabbits, but it is sending the beasts a message by burning the carcasses to be used as fuel to heat Swedish homes.

The message: “Hey rabbits! You think you can hope around in our parks and woodlands? Your time is up, buddy! We’re going to heat ourselves during the long Nordic winter with you!”

Wabbit season has been extended

Animals. It seems as if not one day goes by where we’re not having to deal with our age old enemies in this eons long war. What lengths will they not go to? Legal battles? Zombies? Suicide attacks? Well, now they’re attempting yet a new focus in the war: they’re combining one war with another. Yes, they’ve now engaged in the war on education. How so?

Recently, a museum (you know, the things that are very good at educating the masses covertly) had to be closed after it was invaded. By rabbits. As in, the furry little things that go hop-hop-hop-copulate-hop-hop-hop-copulate-copulate-copulate-hop. In fact, the invasion was so bad that they museum will have to be closed from now until November 16. That’s a long time to put a stop to education, people!

“The current population is so large that it threatens to permanently damage the island’s sensitive vegetation, and poses a serious threat to other fauna species,”

No sense of respect. No sense of decency. They probably fornicated in the lobby. Have you no shame, animals?

The fight to save bunnies–for testing purposes

Last week, this blog ended a post saying that we could trust machines with any job we might give an animal. This blog would now like to rescind that statement. There are some things animals are so much better at than machines could or should ever be.

Scientists at this very moment are working on building robots on which to test chemicals, rather than testing them on cute little bunnies. Folks, if there is one job an animal has, it is to taste good, and if there are two jobs an animal has, those are to taste good and to be subjected to our cruel product testing. Better them than us.

More than just that, using robots to test on would mean we would have to give them some sort of intelligence. It is only a matter of time before the machines become self-aware and are tired of us. As Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles tells us (Mondays on FOX at 9 p.m. Eastern), self-aware machines are a very, very bad thing for the human race.

(Via Engadget)