Alcosynth is a chemical that recreates the positive effects of alcohol (i.e., feeling less inhibited, claiming to know everything about a movie you’ve never seen) without the negative effects, like a hangover or being “too” drunk. In execution, your bartender would use either the clear or bitter version in mixed drinks instead of, for example, vodka or whiskey. It allegedly would tap out at the drunkenness you feel after four or five drinks, so you would never black out.
But, is that all alcohol is? Just something that makes a lemonade hard, a V8 bloody, an orange juice a mimosa? Or is it something that introduces an element of danger as just part of a complex flavor experience?
All we know is that Star Trek: The Next Generation had (will have?) a version of this. And, while they were probably the safest crew to fly with, it wasn’t nearly as fun as a having a xenological parasite being removed by a half-plastered Original Series Dr. McCoy.
Chances are that this is the half-baked idea of a “Legalize it!” crank, so we’ll only have to consider the ramifications of alcosynth in theory. But, in the meantime, The Guys are going to make a designated driver’s life awful for the next six hours.
When I was in sixth grade, my friend Michael explained to me that there were supposed to be more than just three Star Wars movies. His uncle worked at Industrial Lights and Magic, and was involved in the animation of the light sabers and blasters. He explained that the reason the original (and then, the only) trilogy had episode titles was that George Lucas had a master plan for trilogies to take place before and after the movies we knew.
Less than a decade later, the world had three new Star Wars films to enjoy. They weren’t worth the wait, but that didn’t stop fans from keeping up their appetites for more. When The Phantom Menace was released, everyone hoped the next one would be better, then they hoped the third one would be the prequel they had dreamed of. It didn’t happen that way.
I apologize in advance if I offend any of you with the views, opinions or jokes in this column offend you. Actually, I don’t apologize. I just ask you to grow up.
We had another award show last night, and with it, the calls for apologies over something that was said or some perceived slight turned into hyped-up beef. The Oscars last night, hosted by Seth MacFarlane, got mixed reviews. There were good performances and bad ones, there were jokes that soared, and jokes that flopped. And William Shatner reminded us how old he is by putting on the Star Trek duds and making a cameo as Captain James T Kirk.
As it is, this is pretty big news, discovery-wise, but science fiction nerds around the internet are blowing their lids. Why? Because Alpha Centauri is a fairly significant universe when it comes to science fiction, whether it’s giant transforming robots or a galactic federation composed of pointy-eared people with crew cuts.
Now, does the newly discovered planet, known as eso1241 (real creative, science), actually have any life? Who knows, but if so, I’m sure we’ll be able to subjugate it.
Nearly 2000 (if this headline is to be believed) trekkers have been stranded in a small mountain resort for accessing Mt. Everest. They’ve been stuck for four days, and officials believe they could be there for at least a few more days with dwindling food supplies.
If they cannot be evacuated in time, the trekkers — which are like trekkies, only with chips on their shoulders — will begin eating each other in order of shirt color, though this could lead to a fight over whether TOS or TNG rules apply.
I’ve had a lot of fun with Star Wars in this column. So much so, in fact, that I may surprise you that I am also a Star Trek fan.
The Star Trek universe is harder to write about because it is so f%@king vast. Even with the “expanded universe” of books, Star Wars roughly covers the same four characters every goddamn installment. Meanwhile, there have been four crews of the USS Enterprise alone, a whole other ship, a space station and the new alien race they meet every episode.
While both share roughly the same fans, those fans usually prefer one over another and will fight to the asthma attack over it. It is my duty to settle this contest, and I’ll just say it now: Star Trek won. I base my–what will obviously be considered–controversial decision on the following criteria: Continue reading Take it from Snee: ‘Star Trek’ won
So, I’ve been reading Confederates in the Attic, in which the author–Tony Horwitz–explores the South’s enduring CSA obsession. While it delves into issues like the Confederate battle flag (which I’ve commented on before and have since changed my mind about) and the families of long-dead soldiers, the interesting parts are about the reenactors.
Unfortunately—or fortunately, depending on your perspective—there is a dearth of Union reenactors compared to Confederates, so much so that Southerners often have to pose as Yankees just to get the numbers right for battles. Apparently, people in the North don’t harp so much about a war that they won 144 years ago.
What are die-hards obsessed with a war over states’ rights [to slavery ] to do when their Northern counterparts don’t want to play along anymore?
For eight years–eight years–I believed we had created a safer United States, a bomb-free and non-terrorized America. I thought that, by taking my shoes off at airports and picketing Muslim schools, we were safe.
All of that was thrown out the window this morning thanks to CNN and Bryan Schools (but mostly Bryan Schools). Now I’m terrified, which is terrorism. (Bryan Schools is a terrorist.)
If 10 U.S. government agents could sneak bombs into U.S. government buildings past other U.S. government employees, then every step the U.S. government has taken to protect me was all a lie. I’m not safe, nor was I ever.
Star Trek feels like a movie motivated by fear. Fear of being too old, to slow, too out of touch. Fear of being too tied to what came before. Fear of irritating old fans. Fear of failing to bring in new ones. And so sometimes it overcompensates, moving too fast, jumping from point to point with barely a pause in between out of fear that its modern, energy drink influenced audience may at some point decide to get up and go to the bathroom. It invents unnecessary plot devices to excuse reinventing the Star Trek universe, just to preemptively shut up those fan-boys unhappy with the change in direction. Yet the irony here is that all of this fear was completely unfounded. This Star Trek works. This idea works. There was nothing to be afraid of and in fact, the whole thing would have only worked better had they simply sat back, relaxed and let things happen. This could have been a revelation, a reinvention of not only the Star Trek franchise but the entire science fiction genre. All the pieces are right there, if only director JJ Abrams and his team had trusted themselves, trusted the fans, trusted their audiences. They don’t, and the result is a movie that’s merely really good instead of genre-changing. Really good is, well really good. In fact I should probably stop kvetching.
This edition of the movie series is a lot of fun. It’s fresh, it’s exciting, it feels young as when the world was new. For the first time in a long time Star Trek truly feels futuristic. Abrams has successfully created an entire world to play around in, a bright and shiny world full of youthful optimism and blinking lights. It’s a Star Trek we’ve never really seen before, a Star Trek done with a monster, blockbuster budget. Abrams takes that world and lets his characters live in it. He doesn’t linger over it or treat it as if we’re seeing something awe-inspiring. This is simply the place where his story happens and within the first five minutes you know there’s a pretty good chance that by the time it’s over, he’ll have changed Star Trek forever and for the better. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: ‘Star Trek’