Tagged: water supply

| Filed under Facepalm

Dumpster fire city cools off in dumpster pools

We’ve all seen It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia and encountered Philly sports fans, but we always assumed that those are just over-dramatic representations of an otherwise normal city, right? We thought so, too, until the mayor’s office issued a notice for its citizens to stop swimming in dumpsters.

Filthy-delphians, cooling off in the classiest way they know.
Filthy-delphians, cooling off in the classiest way they know.

The warning explains the hazards of illegally tapping fire hydrants in great detail, including:

  1. Using up water that’s meant for putting out fires.
  2. The high pressure of water pushing drunk assh*les into traffic.
  3. Destroying the water utilities — potentially cutting water off to entire neighborhoods.

But, while the city government is — direct quote — “not screwing around, Philly,” they failed to address that people are swimming in garbage receptacles. Basically, Philadelphia is acknowledging that, OK, their fellow citizens are garbage who swim in filth, but that garbage needs to stop risking the water supply or using up parking spaces.

| Filed under Regular Post

Water-powered car potentially possible, still damaging

Do you live in Nibley City? Do you drive a diesel-powered vehicle? Then continue to not put water into your car, despite what you might think!

Nibley City has a problem: all of their drinking water’s got a little too much diesel in it. If you didn’t, any diesel in your drinking water is too much. According to officials, the fuel somehow made its way into the city spring. City workers are trying to flush it out of the drinking water supply and then out of the culinary water supply.

Boiling the water, officials say, will not remove the contamination. The ban on drinking water is not a recommendation, but a strict prohibition. It should not be used to cook, drink or use for washing dishes.

Finally, a problem where booze truly is not just the lesser of two evils, but is actually a probable solution.

| Filed under Take it from Snee

Take it from Snee: I will be safe again

For eight years–eight years–I believed we had created a safer United States, a bomb-free and non-terrorized America.  I thought that, by taking my shoes off at airports and picketing Muslim schools, we were safe.

All of that was thrown out the window this morning thanks to CNN and Bryan Schools (but mostly Bryan Schools). Now I’m terrified, which is terrorism. (Bryan Schools is a terrorist.)

If 10 U.S. government agents could sneak bombs into U.S. government buildings past other U.S. government employees, then every step the U.S. government has taken to protect me was all a lie. I’m not safe, nor was I ever.

But, I’m going to change that, you Take it from Snee. Continue reading