Woman wrestles shark, throws it back in sea

Australia is known to have a fair amount of sharks off its coast. In response, Aussies have build a series of ocean pools, which allow them to enjoy seawater, without all the fun stuff like waves, filtration and freedom from shark attacks. But when human territory is invaded, animals must be put in their place.

In an ocean pool in Sydney, people sat along the side of the pool watching a shark swim around. Finally, Melissa Hatheier stolled over to the shark, picked it up, and threw it back into the ocean. Her daring move saved the day for all, and was captured on video. She is now being hailed as a hero, as well she should be.

Let’s remember that in Australia, pretty much everything is trying to kill you, so the people there are just heartier than you’d find anywhere else. Especially the women, it seems.

Everyone gets one

We make fun of a lot of things here at SG: the crazy parts of Japan, New Jersey, Germans, celebrities, just lots of things in general. But one thing we don’t make fun of are heroes.

No sir.

Unless they dress up to save people. Then they’re just weird. Or cosplayers.

Kind of like Sonchai Yoosabai. He dressed up like Spider-Man in order to coax an autistic student back into a building and off of a bridge. This is not unusual for the firemen of Thailand.

“Somchai said he keeps the Spider-Man costume and an outfit of Japanese television character Ultraman at the station in order to liven up school fire drills.”

Sounds like a lot of commitment to live up to. Not to mention possible copyright infringement. Hey Sonchai, can we at SG recommend that you educate kids with the rousing adventures of “Arachno-Dude” and “Fantastically Shiny Guy”?

MasterChugs Theater: My kung-fu is crazier than yours

Have you been to the movies lately? It’s not too bad out there. I mean, I do despise a world where Paul Blart: Mall Cop out grosses Gran Torino. But then again, that could be because Gran Torino is an absolutely wonderful movie. Paul Blart? Not so much. Nonetheless, a lot of movies these days, while dramatic, lack one fairly crucial bit of storytelling.

Crazy kung-fu-ness.

No, really. Continue reading MasterChugs Theater: My kung-fu is crazier than yours

Obama sequels/prequels will suck

Kids, we know you love Barack Obama right now. You’ve got the Obama bedsheets, the Obama action figures and playsets — including the Hillary doll your dog chewed up — and a lifetime membership in the Barack Obama Fan Club. (Your pin and stickers are in the mail.)

Yep, you think you’re always gonna love this year’s blockbuster hero. But there is a dark and sinister force looming on the horizon …

George Lucas has declared Obama to be the “hero” “for all of us that have dreams and hope.”

So, enjoy Obama while you can. In 20 years, Lucas will undoubtably make a horrible sequel or prequel with bad dialogue and annoying CGI.

The worst part is that when you’ll say these new movies aren’t as good as the original Obama, your peers will tell you that the original Obama was this bad — you just didn’t notice because you were a kid.